I had a planned CS with my first child as he was breech. Although the consultant attempted to turn him, this did not work and I was presented with a CS as the only sensible option. Afterwards, I felt that I had been manipulated into a CS and felt quite angry about it. We did not have a great postnatal stay because we struggled with BF and weight loss...it was a snowball effect that took us the better part of six months to recover from.
Having had lots of BH in the weeks around the due date, I was unsure if I was having 'real' contractions on the Monday night (22nd). Had some stronger ones in the early hours of Tuesday morning and passed the 'show/mucous plug.' Hoped things were starting (being 11 days overdue at this point) and called the midwife for an assessment. The midwife (MW) came around lunchtime and after observing me and giving me a vaginal exam (ow!) deemed me to be in the very very early stages of labour (I was more than a bit disappointed at the news) and told me to eat and rest. Easy contractions all day (although they did pick up after that exam), did lots of breathing and poses to open up pelvis (all those weeks of yoga...). Went to bed around ten but, after some stronger contractions, my waters broke around 11:15 PM, so got up again and called MW, who came around 12:00. While waiting, the contractions came thick and fast and I was very relieved when the pool was up and filled and I could get in. I did not want to get out again when the MW did arrive, but an exam was necessary and I was about 5cm dilated at that point. At that point, I felt some despair, because, without knowing how long it could go on and knowing that I only had 25 minutes worth of gas and air, I wasn't sure that I would be able to cope. My husband and my mum did a lovely job coaching me through the next few hours which found me mostly on all fours in the pool. One of the hardest things was that they needed to check the foetal heart rate with most of the contractions (to check for distress on account of the previous csection) and I found this particularly difficult to cope with (being prodded during contractions). I came up with lots of lovely mantras for chanting...none of which would make an antenatal book. They included: "I can't, I can't..." "it hurts, it hurts"..."I made a mistake"..."I'm not the person I thought I was" "you're not listening to me" etc. Thankfully, everyone else maintained their confidence in me and helped me through the night. Also, the M Ws (there were two; they were wonderful) kept repeating that I was using very good positions to help the baby down and to open the cervix (thank you, yoga; although, it meant labour progressed quite quickly, which at times I found hard to cope with). It's all a bit hazy, but this is what I've pieced together. At around 4:00, the midwives suggested that now was the time that I might use the gas and air, and that made all the difference. It meant that I was able to relax between the contractions. By using it sparingly, I eked it out to nearly an hour's use with it running out just when they became really intense. But, soon, around five, I had the urge to push and came out of the pool. I spent the next hour mostly on all fours, with a bit of hanging on to my husband and my mum. I don't think it is possible to describe the sensation of a child coming through your pelvis; it's certainly impossible to accurately imagine before hand. I felt as though my joints could not be stretched any further and found it very disconcerting. The little one moved steadily down the birth canal, giving everything time to stretch. I refused to change from an all-fours position which meant that the mws did not have a great view of his progress; but, I could not imagine pushing on my back so didn't want to turn. Also, I was afraid that I would get stuck on my back. At 6:06, my son was born and I sat back against my husband to hold him. Immediately, all was well and the work of labour disappeared from my mind. He was beautiful and peaceful and alert. I was able to shower and snuggle in bed with the little one. Some time after 7:00 (with everything, including the pool, tidied away), my husband woke our oldest and brought him into our room to meet his brother. It was another quietly amazing experience.
I am so glad that we opted to have the birth at home, it was the right choice for us: a peaceful welcome for the baby and an easy environment for the boys to get to know each other. It was also wonderful having everyone home for such a long time after the birth.
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