My pregnancy with Bryony was a bit of a rocky one. I had bleeding in the first 12 weeks, which is enough to scare the life out of anyone, especially if you have already had two miscarriages as I had. The second trimester came and went with no problems, but along came 28 weeks and up shot my blood pressure. Being someone with a usual low blood pressure this was quite alarming for myself, but not so for many health professionals, so it seemed. Her EDB was 9th December 2001.
I woke up at 06:30am on Tuesday 18th December with some whacking contractions. They were 7 minutes apart, so I thought I'd take a bath. After a few minutes I felt dizzy and sick and had a terrible headache, so I got back out and called the labour ward. They advised me to come in so they could make sure me and the baby were ok, and if all was well I'd be going back home.
When I arrived at hospital I went straight into the labour ward. I was asked for a urine sample and then put on the monitor to see how the baby was doing. After 20 minutes they decided that baby was fine, but mum wasn't. My urine had high levels of protein in it, compared to just a trace on and off from 28 weeks. So I had a blood test and pre-eclampsia was diagnosed. (Although they didn't tell me until I was 10cm dilated!)
My blood pressure was high but stable, so I asked if I could walk around to get things going as although my contractions were now 5 minutes apart and 1 minute long, I was just 1.5cm dilated. So I spent the next 5 hours walking up and down stairs, then walking down the stairs and around the corridor and then back up the lift, and finally just down the stairs and up the lift. When I gave in, I went back to my room and tried to move around in there.
At 12am, now into December 19th, I was in agony. I had an internal examination and my heart sank to find that with my 2 minute apart hefty contractions had got me to a mere 3cm dilated, and the baby's head was still very high! I clambered up onto the bed and was slunk over a beanbag and requested gas and air.
At 2 am the contractions were even more intense, at just under 2 minutes apart and 45 seconds long. Despite me being fairly upright I was still 3cm dilated, probably because of the baby's head being so high and OP. It was at this point that I realised how alarming my blood pressure was and I had an epidural. If only I knew then what I know now about them! Being lied to about the 'usefullness' of an epidural for my blood pressure began the unfortunate downhill slope of this labour and birth.
However, The epidural was a huge relief at the time. I fell asleep as soon as it kicked in. Although I want to regret the epidural, as it is ultimately a large contributor to the cause of my emergency section, I don't, because all I can remember clearly is how unsupportive the midwife was and how much pain I was in. When I woke up I was told my baby was ROP, which would be difficult to deliver with an epidural in. During a very, very painful long internal my waters broke and were fresh meconium stained.
At around 05:45am I started pushing and then at around 07:15am the registrar came in to see how I was doing and was alarmed to find fresh meconium leaking out of me and the baby's heart rate dropping continuously After a heated exchange with the midwife the registrar told me that baby was "in a very difficult position" and in distress and that the baby needed to be delivered immediately for both our sakes. I signed a form with something that looked nothing like my signature and was whisked into theatre. It was very scarey.
My caesarean experience was unfortunately awful. I had it done under an epidural. I was sick quite a few times before the section and during the suturing. I felt the epidural wearing off during the sewing too, and was violently shaking, but the most agonising part of all was hearing them trying to resuscitate my baby in the background after she had got so distressed in the womb.
So, Bryony Louise Marsh arrived in this world at 07:46am on Wednesday 19th December weighing 8lbs 9oz and 52cm in length. She was covered in meconium and couldn't breath. Once her breathing kicked in she was well away and seemed like a perfectly healthy baby! For that, I am very, very thankful. They were happy enough with her to leave her with me, rather than take her away for monitoring. (A long story that I won't go into!)
I unfortunately had an early miscarriage of twins between Bryony and my VBAC baby. Nevertheless my second baby would arrive just 13 months after my emergency caesarean. Jenna's EDB was 29th January 2003.
The pregnancy consisted of sickness from day one to 28 weeks all day every day. I was put on pills to help me eat. After 28 weeks I felt a lot better and was only sick on and off from then on. Otherwise this was a complication free pregnancy. The only concern I had was that at the four scans I had, the baby's head was measuring bigger than Bryony's was. Seeing as Bryony's was 37.5cm in circumference, this was very worrying for me! Fortunately I had a very confident and competent consultant who was not bothered by the scans and believed that I was capable of a VBAC and the fetal head size was not worrying. This has convinced me of the incompitance of the large majority of interviening tests offered to pregnant women.
At 38 weeks the baby's head was still very high, just as Bryony's had been, so again I was panicking. Once again, the consultant came in, had a feel of the bump and said that as long as I don't have an epidural and I stay upright and mobile through labour, I would most definitely be fine! Boy was I lucky to have such a lovely consultant!
The 29th January came and went, and along came 8th February when I was booked in at the delivery suite to be induced. I was induced by having my waters broken, which I will definitely never let them do again. I now know it was dangerous as my baby's head was still very high, and because of this it was a very painful experience. I was never informed of the risks of induction at all, let alone induction by ARM after a caesarean. This happened at 9am.
However, I was fortunate that this caused no problems. Once my waters had been broken they wanted to set me up on a drip and get contractions going, but this is not what I wanted! So I went for a walk up and down those stairs again, just like I had with Bryony. Baby was ROP again, so was determined to keep mobile and upright.
By 12pm I was in a lot of pain, so I stopped walking up and down the stairs. I got in the birthing pool at some point and probably spent around an hour in here. I found it very relaxing, but was turning into a bit of a wimp, so I got out at 2pm and walked around the bed. At around this point I was extremely lucky to have a fantastic midwifery sister come on duty to look after me. She took me into a larger room and got me a birthing ball to sit on. She stayed with me as much as she could and was using visulisation to help me through the contractions. The midwife commeneted about how thick and fast they were coming and made me feel a lot better as I reaised it wasn't all in my head and I wasn't being a complete whimp! They were coming about every minute and a half and about 45 seconds long. I was examined at 3pm and was 6cm dilated. I felt awful that these amazing contractions weren't producing fantastic results (I was over 3cm dilated when they broke my waters). As I was losing hope, I climbed onto the bed. At 3:30pm my breathing wasn't helping with the pain anymore, and I began to get very cold and shakey. I was also breathing very differently - through my teeth rather than deep breaths. So I had gas and air to help me through. I can see now in hindsight that I was in transistion at this point.
At 4pm I got the urge to push and I remember the midwife looking me straight in the eyes and asking me if I was sure as the baby's head was still high even though I was 10cm dilated. She said if I felt like not pushing I was to just continue breathing through the contractions. I had such a strong urge to push that I just had to do it. She got my partner, Ian, to take the gas and air off of me as I was going to need all my efforts to push and couldn't be disturbed by anything else.
Two and a quarter hours of pushing followed. I was on the bed, but in a variety of different positions, and not lying on my back. The midwife was fab and was praising me at good pushes and telling me where I was going wrong when I was being a bit pathetic! She allowed me to have a long second stage, and kept reassuring me that I was going to do this. I know some people having a VBAC have had to fight for a long second stage to be 'allowed'. During the last few pushes she asked if she could perform an episiotomy to speed things up as baby's head had been in the same place for a while now, and the fetal heartrate was taking longer and longer to pick back up after a contraction. After this it seemed like hardly anytime at all and I saw a whole head! I reached down and pulled our baby out with a push and onto my tummy. I remember not knowing what to do and just looking at what I'd done in shock! My first thought was "I've just given birth!." I had obviously convinced myself that I couldn't do it at some point, and I certainly didn't think I could do it with only gas and air for a short while! (Oh dear - the tears are coming back! ;) Although I regret the episiotmy, the midwife was under enormous pressure with the SHO poking his head in readily waiting with forceps/ventouse/to call the crash team for another caesarean. This is wrong, but the unfortunate case in a lot of hospitals. I would much rather have had the episiotomy than an assisted delivery.
Jenna Rose Marsh was born at 18:15pm weighing 8lbs 11oz and was 56cm long. Just me, daddy and the midwife present apart from a knock on the door a few minutes after Jenna was born and a little voice saying "is that a baby I can hear in there??!" (I had the rest of the midwifery team sat outside the door eagerly awaiting the news of my unassisted vaginal birth! ;) ) Jenna's head circumference was an average 34cm, despite what the scans said. I was up on my feet having a shower very shortly after giving birth and having a nice long initial breastfeed, and I went home the next day.
As my caesarean was such an awful experience, I was scared of the thought of another one. I knew that for me and my baby a VBAC was the safest and best option, but I do know that this isn't always the case. However, I am so sad to see so many women go on to have subsiquent caesareans just because consultants, doctors and midwives failed to pass on correct information. VBAC is safe to many, many more women than just those that have them. I was horrified at how many risks there are with a caesarean - particually an unnecessary one, and these risks are just not being passed onto women. I found Bryony's birth very traumatic, but with Jenna's I'm still on a high from it 4 months later. I felt in control with Jenna's birth, and I'm afraid I like to always be in control! With Jenna's birth I actually felt like it was me doing the birthing - and rightly so! I would say for me my VBAC was the most positive and amazing experience in my life. Being the first person to touch her and delivering her myself has changed my life. Anymore babies we have will hopefully be born in peace at home!
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