My first caesarean was for failure to progress. I had a fantastic pregnancy and started having mild contractions at 39 weeks. Being young and not having read as much as I could have I didnt take some paracetamol and go back to sleep (that was my 1st mistake). I thought birth was imminent and therefore didnt eat or do all the things which could have helped me out.
A midwife came to check me at home later that evening (Fri) and said I was 2cm dilated but was still not in labour. I had no sleep (because the pains were regular and painful) that night, nor the next day (Sat) or night nor the next day (Sun). I spoke to the midwife later that evening and she said to come in for ARM. I was 4cm on arrival, waters were broken by midwife and then contracting well coping on gas and air.
Whilst I was in the thick of it (8 cm's) my midwife disappeared. In came another who told me that she thought I needed something for the pain... pethedine(my 2nd mistake). I who thought I had been coping ok believed that this expert obviously knew better. Labour practically came to a halt at this point where upon it was decided that an epidural should be given because it was likely that I would need help! Needless to say from that point on for the next four hours very little changed.
My baby was born on monday morning at 9.15 by caesarean and weighed 9lb13oz. It just so happened that it was my 22nd birthday. Happy Birthday to me! I was really in a lot of pain after 1st section I found the midwives on postnatal very unhelpful and I was very anaemic because I lost so much blood during delivery. My legs were really swollen and so I had to keep them up high so that they would let me go home. They wanted to give me a blood transfusion but I refused....it was the only thing I felt in control of.
I was discharged but told I would be back later in the week as I would have collapsed due to my low iron level....I went home and ate liver, spinach and anything else that was likely to get my iron levels up. I didnt go back in!
When my son was 10 months I found I was pregnant again.............. I was so scared. When I spoke to my midwife she said I could try for a vbac. That made me really happy but I was also apprehensive. Would I be able to do it? The obstetrician had told me that my pelvic outlet was probably too small and so they wanted to check how big the baby was with ultra-sound.
At 38 weeks I was told baby was about 8lbs so not too big. I went a week over and consultant told me at that appointment that no baby was ever going to come out naturally.... I was booked in for a caesarean on Tuesday the following week. She made me cry my eyes out, told me that if she had a child it would be by caesarean because it was safer...basically made me feel stupid for wanting a normal delivery. In my midwives defence when I told her what had happened she said that I could still try for a normal delivery but at that point I felt totally deflated and also was stupid enough to believe that doctor knew best!!
On the Tuesday morning I had started having mild contractions and when I got to the hospital they did ask if I still wanted a trial of labour. I had prepared so much for the caesarean now I just went along with it. My daughter was born weighing 10lbs 2 oz. It was a nice birth despite not being the one I wanted and recovery from this one was much quicker. Despite this I was still left feeling somewhat robbed.
Five years later and in a new relationship I was pregnant again. This time however I had done a little preparation and with the aid of the internet lots of research on vbac. I went to my G.P. armed with my research and was lucky that she herself had just had a baby, a vaginal breech, so she actually listened to me and put me forward to a consultant at the hospital who was supposedly pro-vbac.
All progressed well with my pregnancy and my community midwife encouraged me all the way. I spent most evenings reading the vbac pages on the radical midwives website and was really inspired, though I began to doubt that I could do it. When I met my consultant at about 36 weeks she seemed like she was going along with the idea just for my benefit, she told me of the risks....I asked her weren't the risks there just by me being pregnant again? She knew that I was determined.
As I got closer to my due date my obstetrician started getting edgy. "this baby needs to come early......its going to be big", she said A week after my due date..... "Why do you so desperately want a normal delivery?", obs asked," I just dont understand." Then proceeded to tell me of all cons of vaginal delivery. "Did you have vaginal deliveries with your children?" I asked. Obs nods......"well then you wouldn't understand." We then talked about the fact that I was overdue and that she would not induce me. She told me I could go over by 10 days but then would have to agree to a caesareen. She then said that 10 days made it Saturday so I would have to come in on Friday for the caesarean. "But that will only be 9 days, make it Monday" I told her not convinced that I would come but just to get her off my back. "Has anyone ever told you you are stubborn?" she said. We both laughed and I walked out with all the consent forms for the caesarean booked for the following monday and a blood match request to go to the hospital on Friday.
At this point I had tried every old wives tale and more to try and get things moving, none of them had worked. Friday in the early hours I feel what definately seems like the start. I take some paracetamol and go back to sleep but am aware of the pains still whilst I am sleeping. I wake early, hubby gets up and wants to know if he should stay home today. I tell him to go to work as its a half day today and I know its going to take its time to get going. I take kids to school and whilst sitting outside of the school clutching steering wheel through pain my daughter says "push mummy push". (TV births really do have a lot to answer for!)
I proceeded to the supermarket and clutch trolley through contractions whilst grabbing bananas and other nibbles for days/nights ahead. Clean everywhere I can think of between contractions, then speak to all my supporters between contractions. Hubbie gets back home and we go to collect kids from school, I'm hanging on fence of school during contractions nodding at those asking if its started. Have forgotten I've been promising kids a book from book sale people all week so have to traipse round school hall rocking myself.....two teachers followed me saying didnt I think I should be at the hospital yet. Eventually get home with kids and my son decides I'm scaring him cos im kind of howling during contractions......time to get them to babysitters. We get back and I last til Eastenders then decide its time to go in.
When I get to the hospital the midwife comes in and says that as its my 3rd it will probably be quick. I tell her that my first two were caesareans...........the horror on her face. "and do we know about this?" she asks. I nod and she marches off. I look at hubbie and shake my head.... if she is my midwife I dont stand a chance. Fortunately she is going off shift and transfers my care to another midwife by saying "and this is Zoe, she's had two caesareans and thinks she's going to deliver on just gas and air" and sniggered!!!! Cow! The midwife hadn't said anything at this point and so I asked if she had a problem with letting me have a trial of labour. She said no and so we got on. VE found me to be at 6cm......yippee! I was so scared that I would be 2cm and be disheartened. I had left going to hospital as late as possible so that I would not be strapped up to a monitor. Midwife said that she would just listen intermittently. Then waters broke and they are meconium stained. She said that was quite usual in overdue babies and would need to monitor heart constantly but I could still stand. Swept away with contractions for ages, I stood on the bed at one point cos I really dont know what to do with myself but hubbie and midwife persuade me down! Then VE found me to be fully dilated. Midwife says to wait til I get the urge to push..... and we are still waiting 30 mins later. Midwife decides that the gas and air which has welded itself to my lips needs to go!!!! It works, I realise where I am and start to push.........a bit later babies heart dips for a while and consultant is called. By the time he gets in baby seems ok again....midwife says that she turned at the last minute (mummys little star). Consultant says I have half an hour to push this baby out or they will do a ventouse. Three quarters of an hour later I eventually pushed her out.....thank God consultant got caught up with someone else. 8lb7oz....small in comparison to my others. I had some tears which had to be sewn up.....I couldnt stop pushing when the baby crowned...to be honest I was scared that if I did stop that baby would disappear back up again and I wasn't going to let that happen. I was walking on air....it was the most mind blowing experience of my life and the most empowering. Thanks to the midwife and my husband who both believed in me and never stopped that, even when I stopped believing in myself. What would have happened if I had ended up with the first midwife? I dread to think!!
I was the talk of the hospital the next day and I even got a well done passed down through the ranks from my consultant. I just hope that when she meets her future women wanting a vbac she thinks of me.
I think ultimately the best birth experiences arise when women feel in control of what has happened during their labour. I was lucky ,I had a fantastic outcome because I managed a vaginal birth. However, I believe that if I had needed intervention at some point and it was my decision then that would have been ok too. I hope that my story inspires somone...there were many that inspired me. Be confident, strong and surround yourself with those that believe in you. Read spiritual midwifery - Ina May Gaskin. She might sound a little crazy but when you look at her achievements there must be something in what she says. Good luck!
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